Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 9:14 pm Post subject: Jokes
I am a fan of good jokes, Ill post one in here every now and then.
Please post any good jokes you know.
Ill start us off with a pretty good one (cant start with the really funny ones.)
~~~
Gripe Sheet
After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a"gripe
sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problem, document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it
be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Maintenance: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Maintenance: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Maintenance: Something tightened in cockpit.
Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Maintenance: Live bugs on back-order.
Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
Maintenance: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Maintenance: Evidence removed.
Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Maintenance: DME volume set to more believable level.
Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Maintenance: That's what friction locks are for.
Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Maintenance: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Maintenance: Suspect you're right.
Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Maintenance: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Maintenance: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Pilot: Target radar hums.
Maintenance: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Maintenance: Cat installed.
Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
Maintenance: Took hammer away from midget
Thems 'us funny.
Here's one that shouldn't get me in trouble
In the 1800's, a warship is sailing the ocean, the guy up in the crows nest yells down,
"Captain, enemy ship on the horizon!"
The captain truns to his assistant and says,
"Bring me my red shirt." He goes and gives it to the captain, and the battle ensues. They fight all day and don't loose one sailer. After the battle, the assistant asks the captain'
"Before the fight, you told me to get your red shirt, why?"
The captain looks at him and says,
"Because if I happened to get shot and was bleeding, the men would not notice and continue to fight on." A few days go by with nothing happening, and then one day the guy up in the crows nest yells down,
"20 enemy ships on the horizon!"
The captin tells his assistant'
"Hurry and get my brown pants!"
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
